HOW TO BOOST YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

Some weeks ago, while at my place of primary assignment, a female student was brought to the staffroom accused of wrongdoing. As she was interrogated, tears streamed down her face, her voice quivered as she tried unsuccessfully to defend herself. As a sensitive observer, my thoughts were that this girl was being bullied, hence her inability to speak to what transpired. She has low self-esteem.

I waited patiently for the chance to speak with her privately during which I confirmed my suspicion based on the heart-wrenching story she shared. She feels different, inadequate, less of herself, and always on the outside looking in.

As a teen, the pressures of school and social hierarchies weighed heavily on her. She often watched the popular kids with their group of friends show off their status and confidence, and couldn't help but compare herself to them. But no matter how hard she tried, she felt like she was always second fiddle, which led her to isolate herself, withdraw from social situations, and avoid new experiences. With each passing day, her self-doubt and insecurities grew, until she felt like she was completely cut off from the world.

I deciphered from our conversation that she needed someone to understand her plights, accept her, and offer guidance. I seized the opportunity to share myexperiences of feeling different and inadequate while encouraging her to focus on her unique qualities and strengths with patience and understanding to help her explore new avenues of self-expression and confidence-building. We also talked about ways she could connect with others who shared her interests, even as we brainstormed ways for her to speak up when she felt mistreated.

My conversation with her reminded me of the many ways in which our self-esteem can be damaged by both internal and external factors ranging from negative self-talk to bullying and social exclusion. It dawned on me - these struggles are not limited to any background or age group.

No matter where you are in life, no matter what your circumstances may be, it's never too late to work on building your self-esteem. 

The following strategies helps, 

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: Comparing yourself to others is a trap that can seriously drain your confidence. It’s tempting to focus on what others have - be it their looks, career successes, or social circles, because everyone's journey is unique and comparing your life to someone else's can only make you feel inadequate. Instead of measuring your worth against someone else’s story, turn inward and appreciate your progress, strengths and achievements, however small. Celebrate your journey!

2. Cultivate Self-Love And Self Care: Self-love is the foundation of healthy self-esteem. Accept yourself fully, including your imperfections, and recognize that you are deserving of respect and kindness. Take pride in your appearance by finding ways to expressstyles unique to you and never forget to feel confident in your skin. Make time for self-care practices that align with your needs, such as nourishing your body with healthy food, staying active, and getting adequate rest. Embracing your uniqueness will not only improve your physical health but will also boost your self-esteem and help you feel more confident.

3. Challenge Limiting Beliefs: The biggest enemy of self-esteem is negative self-talk - These internalized beliefs, often shaped by past experiences or societal standards, can keep you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, leading you to believe that you are not enough and will never be. Start by noticing these thoughts and when you catch yourself saying something negative about yourself, counter it with a positive affirmation. For example, replace “I can’t do this” with “I’m learning, and I’ll get better.” Over time, you’ll retrain your mind to support your growth rather than hinder it.

4. Embrace Growth and Learning: Investing in personal development is essential for building self-esteem. By focusing on expanding your knowledge and skills, you become more confident in your abilities and more secure in your value as a person. Seek out opportunities for self-improvement, whether it's taking a class, reading a book, or learning a new hobby. As you acquire new skills and knowledge, your self-esteem will naturally increase as you gain a greater sense of mastery and competence.

5. Challenge yourself: Step out of your comfort zone. Pushing your boundaries can be transformative. Even as simple as trying a new hobby or as ambitious as starting a new business, taking on challenges - big or small, teaches you that you’re stronger and more capable than you might think. It's important to remember that you don't have to do everything perfectly when you're challenging yourself.

6. Practice gratitude: Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s present in your life. Reflecting on the positives can reduce stress, improve your outlook, and strengthen your self-esteem. Consider keeping a gratitude journal or setting aside moments each day to appreciate the good in your life

 

In the words of Dr. Seuss: “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
Building self-esteem is a choice between moving forward and staying stunted. It is a journey, not a destination. Every small step you take toward self-confidence and self-love is progress worth celebrating. Be patient with yourself because change happens gradually.

What strategies have worked for you? Share your experiences in the comments. We’d love to hear your perspective as we continue to build a community of positivity and growth!